Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
