pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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