It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you win again, gameday.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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