Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
