How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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