My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
