ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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