Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize