Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
