I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
