dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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