I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
