party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
