If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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