That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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