I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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