you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
