Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
