Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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