ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Ambien. No doubt about it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
