if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
