Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
