Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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