Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
