Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i think i have two assholes
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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