I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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