dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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