Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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