FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
