There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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