so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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