spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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