I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
