my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
