He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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