well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize