what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
