Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
