The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
