he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
