If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
