it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
