Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
