What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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