I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
