Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
