Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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