Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
