Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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