Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize