I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
