oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
