You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
