She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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